Friday, May 21, 2010

I am my sister and brother's keeper!

My family dynamics are quite strange. I was adopted when I was 15 along with my younger brother and sister. I know and am close with several members of my biological family except my mother simply because I don't know where she is at the moment.

I also have several siblings, including adopted brothers and sisters, a foster sister, and my biological brother and sister.

I am the oldest child in terms of my biological family. Thus I feel an obligation to take care of my brother and sister. It doesn't help that I remember my mother's last words to me before giving us up for adoption were "Do Better than Me"

My brother is 10 years younger than me which means he turns 17 this year and hopefully graduates from high school next year. One of the reasons I want to eliminate as much debt as possible is because I want to pay for his college education. He wants to be a police officer and plans to attend a Junior College for two years.

After researching the various community colleges in their area where my parents live it seems the cost of tuition will be around $4000 a year, or $2000 a semester. I hope to pay for this so he does not have to take out any loans and will be speaking with my parents about him getting a job and paying for his books and living expenses.

I bring him up because right now he is not working and last week he hit me up for money for his prom, in march he asked me for money to buy his girlfriend a gift for her birthday, and in Feb, he needed help to buy her a Valentine's Day gift. His birthday is also in two weeks ( he will probably want money as a gift), and I have to pay for him and my sister to attend my wedding in Jamaica.

My sister, also hit me up for money last week. She was in a really rough living situation ( she is 24) and wanted to move to her own apartment. She has no job but she is in online program for a degree in Human Services. She needed help paying to move to her own place as well as help with the deposit so I gave her $500. I consider it a gift, because I know I won't get it back.

Both siblings hit me up for money in the same week. Sigh!!! Sometimes I wish our family situation was different because I know that some of our faults are because of the circumstances of our childhood. Perhaps that why I feel I have to help them out as much as I possibly can.

Thus, for now and until the day I die, I will be my brother's (and sister's) keeper.

until next time, think prosperous thoughts



Lioness said...

I understand that all too well and while I will always always be there for my sister and brother, I also now do my best to help them get to a better financial place. The biggest thing I had to learn was to not hurt myself while helping them. I get ticked with them sometimes for their irresponsibility but at the end of the day, it's the money that won't matter.

I looove you helping spirit.

Small Budget, Big Style Chick said...

I don't have siblings, but can relate to really wanting to be there to support relatives their financial times of need. It's a hard balance, but you want to be there for your loved ones.

tongchen@seattle said...
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